trust.

"TRUST"
has long been one of my least favorite words in the english language. It is a  con artist cloaked in phonics.  And I imagine the first person to ever utter it  did so with intention. Having already created a  contradictory reputation by action, they now lobbied for the suspension of another's innate and experiential intelligence with the magical plea  of "...trust me." no. I trust by deeds. They are the numbers of my quadratic human equations.  I trust a person by demonstration of self. Not more and not less. It has a negative sound, but is actually quite positive and allows me to be quite accepting.  Rather than suspend intelligence, I suspend prior expectations. And calculate and equate actions as I do numbers.


Math was not my favorite subject growing up, but it was by far where I received the highest marks. In the 5th grade I was placed in middle school math.  In  middle school,  I was skipped to  high school Math. In college, I  considered it as a major.  (Then I decided to minor in physics or astronomy. was disappointed to learn that  there were no minors in such studies...all or nothing.)
So, I instead went for studies that were less study and more doing--the making of words and things. Ink and clay.   hmph.

[ Ink and clay  | oil dye water and dirt.]

So what to do with such a being?
A heart of water. Wet with emotion, intuition---hyper with sensitivity. A mind of iron.  Churning cogs, oiled mechs  with calculations of an industrial site... 

So... who does she trust? 

everyone. 

especially me.

to be exactly as we are. 

[oil dye water and dirt.]

and she humms...
and i wish and i wish and i wish i didn't see like this
and i wish and i wish and i wish i didn't know like this...
and i wish and i wish and i wish I couldn't conclude like this...
this mind this mind this mind of mine this mind this mind this mind of mine this mind this mind this mind of mine this mind this mind this mind this mind.

i walk the path of 1 and 1
i walk the path of 2 and 3
i walk the path of 3 and 5
i walk the path of life after life
i walk the path of 5 and 8
i walk the path of the winding straight
i walk the path of a golden thirteeeeeeennn.
this mind this mind this mind of mine this mind this mind this mind of mine this mind this mind this mind of mine this mind this mind this mind this mind.